As busy, hardworking moms, we are used to wearing all the hats. Wife. Mom. Career woman. Friend. Sister. Daughter. It’s a balancing act that often leaves us at the bottom of our own priority list. If you’ve ever found yourself collapsing into bed at night thinking, Did I even drink water today?, this one’s for you.

I know what it’s like to put everyone else first. But here’s the truth: we can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean neglecting your responsibilities or being selfish—it’s about making sure you are well enough to show up for the people and things you love. The good news? Putting yourself first doesn’t have to mean overhauling your life. It’s about small, sustainable actions that make a big impact over time. Here are some easy, actionable steps to start prioritizing you this year.

1. Wake Up 15 Minutes Earlier for Yourself

Not for the kids. Not for your partner. For you. Whether it’s sipping coffee in silence, journaling, or stretching, those 15 minutes can ground you before the chaos of the day begins. And no, this doesn’t have to mean waking up at 5 a.m. Start where you can.

Tip: Keep your phone on the other side of the room so you don’t scroll in bed. Use those 15 minutes for something intentional.

2. Schedule Your Health Appointments First

When was your last annual check-up? How about that dentist appointment? It’s time to stop putting your health on the back burner. Grab your calendar and schedule those appointments like they’re non-negotiable meetings—because they are. Trust me, staying on top of your health could potentially save your life.

Action: Treat your appointments with the same urgency as you do your kids’ soccer games or work deadlines. Put them on the calendar now.

3. Take One Evening (or Morning) a Week for You

Carve out a regular time slot where you are off-duty. This isn’t for running errands or catching up on laundry—it’s for you. I love solo dates and honestly credit them with my sanity. While I’m usually at a bar shooting oysters and sipping a martini, a solo date can also mean reading at a cozy café, treating yourself to a cute lunch, or even taking a yoga class. Whatever fills you up, make time for it without guilt.

,Pro Tip: Let your partner, family, or trusted support system know about this time, and hold firm boundaries around it. You deserve the break.

4. Say “No” Without Apology

We’re all conditioned to say yes to everything—work projects, school volunteering, family requests. But saying “no” to things that drain you means saying “yes” to yourself. One of my favorite things to watch is my daughter and her best friend Lennie say "no" like it’s a complete sentence—because it is. What’s that saying? Out of the mouth of babes? Saying no has become my new kink. I love it. Try it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your peace.

Practice: Start small. Say no to one thing this week that doesn’t serve you, and notice how freeing it feels.

5. Move Your Body in Ways That Feel Good

Movement doesn’t have to mean grinding it out at the gym unless that’s your thing. Honestly, I never thought I’d love running—and watching people run 20 miles for funsies still baffles me—but here I am, logging 25 miles a week, and dare I say… I love it? Starting small was what helped. It’s kind of like getting your first tattoo or Botox: once you start, you’re always curious to see how much more you can push. So whether it’s a walk with your favorite playlist, a virtual yoga class during nap time, or dancing around the kitchen, just start. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about feeling good.

Remember: 10 minutes is better than nothing. Consistency over perfection, always.

6. Set a Monthly “Me Goal”

Each month, set one goal that is entirely for you. Maybe it’s reading two chapters of a book, trying a new recipe you’ve been eyeing, or investing in your skincare routine. Write it down, make it visible, and celebrate when you hit it. Bonus points if you don’t beat yourself up if you happen to miss your goal by a month or two—or three. Life happens. Start with a goal that is more conservative than you think you’ll need, like, “I’ll take myself for a coffee date once a month” instead of once a week.

7. Ask for Help (and Accept It)

Ma’am, I’m going to hold your hand when I say this: you do not need to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Asking for help doesn’t make you any less capable; it makes you wise. As moms—and Black women especially—we’re too often expected to do the most, and we oblige. (Don’t even get me started on being the eldest daughter too.) Whether it’s delegating tasks at home, calling in your village, or hiring help when possible—lean on your people.

Challenge: If someone offers to help this week, say “yes” without guilt.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve This

Alexaaaa, play "You Deserve It" by JJ Hairston.

Putting yourself first doesn’t require a grand overhaul of your life. It’s about small, intentional actions that add up over time. Remember, you’re not just doing this for yourself—you’re doing it for your kids, partner, community, and anyone else who needs you at your best. You are worthy of the care you give so freely to everyone else.

So, what’s one small step you will take to prioritize yourself this year? Drop it in the comments, and let me cheer you on!

‍