Some days, I’m barely holding it together. That’s the truth.

I’ve been living with mental health challenges for nearly two decades, and while I’ve learned a lot, there are still days when it feels like I’m back at square one. Officially, I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, PTSD, and generalized anxiety. Unofficially, I’ve battled the overwhelming feeling that I’ll never quite get it right—and that “bad luck” or the worst-case scenario is destined for me. My brain is always bracing for impact, convinced that if something can go wrong, it will.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, these feelings intensified in a way I wasn’t prepared for. Anxiety had always whispered worst-case scenarios in my ear, but suddenly, those fears weren’t just hypothetical—they were real. My mind became a battlefield, swinging between survival mode and the fear that the ground beneath me could give way at any moment. Even now, those thoughts linger as I stand on the other side of that chapter (hopefully🤞 ). They show up in small ways, in quiet moments, in the way I sometimes hold my breath, waiting for the next shoe to drop.

But I’ve learned that I am not powerless even when my mind tells me otherwise. I can’t always control my thoughts, but I can control how I care for myself in the aftermath. Medication has been a part of that care, but so has creating a routine that helps me feel safe, present, and grounded.

I want to be clear: everyone’s mental health journey is different. What works for me may not work for you, and that’s okay. My mama always says, “eat the fish and leave the bones”—take what serves you, leave the rest. Whether you have a similar diagnosis or just feel the weight of everyday stress, I hope sharing my routine gives you a little inspiration or a starting point.

Living with mental health struggles isn’t easy, but it has taught me to lean into the small, intentional moments of care that keep me tethered. These aren’t luxuries. They’re lifelines.

My Prayer Life

Let me start by saying that I’m not perfect at this. Some days, I forget; some days, I rush through it, and some days, I straight up don’t feel like it. But when I take the time to sit with my devotional or read scripture, it quiets my mind and helps me remember that I’m not in this alone. Trusting in God’s plan isn’t easy for me, but I’m trying.

If Christianity isn’t your thing, that’s okay. Maybe your practice is centered around spirituality, meditation, or simply a moment of stillness. I love the Calm app for guided meditations, and there are excellent free resources on YouTube or Spotify. The key isn’t perfection—it’s simply showing up for yourself.

A Luxurious Lunch

Something about treating myself to a “rich-rich” lunch makes me feel like I have my life together—even if I don’t. I’m talking about a meal I didn’t cook, something a little indulgent, paired with something fizzy. It’s my way of hitting the pause button, stepping away from the chaos, and reminding myself that I’m worthy of nice things.

And maybe, just maybe, a little retail therapy sneaks in too—because sometimes buying myself something small (or not-so-small) lifts my mood in a way that nothing else does.

Running to Clear My Head

I used to think runners were unhinged. Why run if no one’s chasing you? But now? I get it.

Running forces me into the present moment. When I’m sprinting up a hill, I can’t be anxious about the past or worry about the future. All I can do is focus on breathing, on putting one foot in front of the other. It’s hard, but in the best way. The kind of hard that reminds me I’m capable of more than I think.

Hot Baths for the Win

Never underestimate the power of a hot bath.

I don’t take regular baths—I take events. The bath bombs, the salts, the milks, the candles, the glass of wine or fancy mocktail. It’s a whole production, and it’s one of my favorite ways to reset. Sometimes, I just need to sit in hot water and pretend the world doesn’t exist for 30 minutes. And that’s okay.

Girlfriends = Therapy

The group chat. The FaceTime call that starts with, “Girl, you’re not gonna believe this.” The impromptu lunch date that turns into three hours of deep belly laughs.

My girlfriends are essential to my mental health. They remind me I’m not alone, they pull me out of my own head, and they give me the gift of laughter—sometimes when I need it most but don’t even realize it.

Ideas for Your Own Routine

If you’re trying to build your own self-care routine, here are a few other things that have helped me:

• Journaling – Sometimes, getting my thoughts out of my head and onto paper makes all the difference.
• Yoga or Stretching – I’m not the most flexible person, but I swear moving my body, even gently, helps me release tension.
• Reading Fiction – Escaping into a good book is one of my favorite ways to give my brain a break.
• Nature Walks – Something about fresh air, trees, and a little sun on my face always lifts my mood.

Resources for Support

If your mental health is affecting your daily life, please know it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to figure this out alone. Here are a few resources specifically for Black women and mothers:

• Therapy for Black Girls – A directory of therapists and mental health resources.
• Black Mental Health Alliance – Support and education for Black communities.
• Postpartum Support International – Help for postpartum depression and anxiety.

‍

‍Final Thoughts

If you’re struggling, I want you to hear me: you are not alone.

I see you. I’ve been there. And I know how heavy it can feel. Some days, self-care looks like a long run and a homemade matcha. On other days, it looks like staying in bed and letting the laundry pile up because I just don’t have it in me. Both are okay. Both are human.

There’s no perfect formula for healing. There’s just finding what works for you, doing your best, and giving yourself the grace to rest and reset when you need to. You’ve got this. And on the days when it doesn’t feel like you do? I promise, you’re still doing better than you think.