When we talk about lasting love, we often hear from couples who have been married for decades—those who have already climbed the mountain and are looking back with hard-won wisdom. And while their advice is valuable, it can sometimes feel... distant. Because what does it actually take to make love work when you’re in the thick of it? When sleep deprivation, career pivots, diaper changes, and aging parents are all competing for your last shred of energy?

This post is about that kind of love. The kind that exists in the chaos of raising small kids, figuring out who you are (again) after a major life shift, and navigating the very real weight of responsibility that comes with partnership. These five couples aren’t reminiscing about the past—they’re in the trenches, living it in real time. They are finding ways to stay connected between daycare drop-offs and late-night work emails. They’re choosing each other even when it would be easier to just coexist.

This is what a healthy marriage looks like now. Messy. Beautiful. And worth every effort.

Now, let’s meet the couples who are keeping love alive in the middle of it all.

Morgan & Thomas Spann

It's always funny when people ask how we met because we both immediately look at each other and say, "What version are they going to get today?"

The truth is that while we both grew up in the same church and our families knew of one another, we didn't have a real conversation until our first date—after we had both graduated from undergrad. I had just finished college and was living in NYC at the time when I decided to move down to Atlanta to start a new chapter. Thomas had already graduated and was living and working in Atlanta.

On NYE 2009 in Dallas (our hometown), we both ended up at the home of one of our mentors and were able to briefly connect. He mentioned that he would reach out to me when we both returned to Atlanta after the holidays. Well, he followed up, and I honestly took my time calling him back because I was trying to settle into this new life as a recent college grad. Eventually, I did, and he invited me to dinner and a show to hear the band he was playing in at the time. We've been together ever since.

It's hard to believe that was 15 years ago. We celebrate 12 years of marriage this coming June, have the most wonderful 5-year-old daughter, and are expecting our miracle baby boy this June. Time really flies, but I will say that one of the major keys to the success of our marriage is laughter.

When times are hard, we laugh. When times are amazing, we laugh. It's just who we are. Like, what is life without laughter? We've been together a long time, and it's always the genuine laughter that reminds me that life will always be well.

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Chelsea Marion and Francine Labiran

[Francine] and I met in 2012 at a Halloween party, bonding over ’90s movie quotes, and somehow, that conversation never really ended. From that night on, we’ve been by each other’s side—navigating life together, lifting each other up through every challenge, and building a foundation that’s grown stronger with every chapter.

We haven’t always gotten everything right, but through patience, understanding, and a shared commitment to growth, we’ve always found our way back to each other.

In 2017, we stood side by side in Puerto Rico and vowed to walk through life together, not just as wives, but as best friends and teammates. Over the past 13 years—eight as a married couple—we’ve learned that the foundation of our relationship isn’t just love, but the intentional choice to show up for each other every single day.

We aren’t the same people we were when we met, and that’s something we’ve embraced rather than denied. We’ve given each other the space to grow, evolve, and step into new versions of ourselves, knowing that flexibility and understanding are what keep us strong.

This past year has tested us in ways we never expected, as we’ve faced the heartbreaking loss of four of our closest loved ones. But even in grief, we’ve found strength in each other—in the quiet moments, in the laughter that still manages to break through, and in the deep knowledge that we are each other’s safe place.

If there’s one thing we know for sure, it’s that love isn’t just found in grand gestures or big milestones; it’s in the small, everyday ways that we care for each other. It’s in the traditions we’ve built, the resilience we’ve strengthened, and the way we continue to make even the most ordinary days feel extraordinary together.

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Jumi and Neal Samen

[We've been] together since 2013, and married since 2017. What keeps our marriage strong is simple but powerful: faith that grounds us, fun that keeps us connected, and friendships that remind us we’re not in this alone.

Faith is our foundation, guiding us through every season. We recently completed a 21-day fast together, deepening our prayer life and reminding ourselves to rely on God for strength. Being part of prayer and support groups among married couples has helped us learn how to pray over each other and into our future. We’ve also committed to marriage counseling—not just in the hard moments, but in the happy and uneventful ones too. It keeps us intentional, sharpening our communication and strengthening our connection so that we’re not just moving through life together, but growing together.

Fun keeps the joy alive, and friendship reminds us we’re not in this alone. Life is demanding, but we make sure not to lose us in the middle of it all. Every month, we find a live performance to enjoy together—whether it’s a concert, comedy show, or a night of live music. We treasure our date nights—they cultivate shared adventures, bring us closer, and keep the spark strong.

And we’re grateful for the married friends who remind us that no one has it all figured out. They keep us laughing, keep us honest, and remind us that love, at its best, is something we build together—imperfect, evolving, and always worth it.

Danielle and Jonathon Wiggins

Jonathan's line brother happens to also be my best friend. On his 31st birthday, both Jonathan and I insisted on taking him out (without any knowledge of each other's existence) and he couldn't say no to either of us. So we ended up combining the celebration. We had dinner at Lauriol Plaza in Washington, DC. Many margaritas later — the rest was history!

We've been together for eight years and married for five.

The key to our marriage is true partnership. Since the day we met, we've both joked about how we are each the only other person we'd do a group project with. We cover each other. We pick up where the other person has left off. We've never had to shrink ourselves individually for each other. Instead, our partnership is the reason why both of us have been able to be our fullest selves. And we remain committed to that. In the first five years of our marriage, we navigated major relationship stressors (family deaths, a move, new jobs, and becoming parents), and it has been our commitment to a true partnership that has helped us confront challenges and remain centered in our marriage.

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Ryan and Alejandro Shepard

Of course, I had to toss my husband, Shep, and me into the mix. We’ve been together since 2016 and married since 2019. I remember my dad telling me at our wedding, “Weddings are easy, but marriage is hard.” At the time, I smiled and nodded, not fully grasping the weight of his words. Now? I get it.

Our marriage has been stress-tested in ways I never could have imagined. Being pregnant and diagnosed with cancer in the same year my father had a near-fatal heart attack tops the list of curveballs we’ve faced. There have been moments of exhaustion, grief, and uncertainty—times when love didn’t feel effortless, but something we had to actively choose.

The truth is, sometimes what it takes is a dogged determination not to quit when things get hard. To constantly court each other, even when life makes it easy to drift. To leave space for each other to be individuals, growing alongside each other rather than getting lost in the we. And for Shep and me specifically, our rock-solid friendship has been everything. It’s essential to like your spouse—because when the moments come that test your love, that’s what you fall back on.

Marriage isn’t about never struggling; it’s about deciding, again and again, that the life you’re building together is worth fighting for.

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