Hey fabulous moms and those about to join the ranks! I want to take you on a rollercoaster ride – not the thrilling theme park kind, but the wild and unpredictable journey of postpartum rage. Buckle up, because we're diving into the chaos, sprinkling a bit of humor along the way, and hopefully offering a lifeboat to those feeling lost in the tempest.
So, picture this: You've just birthed a tiny human, your emotions are all over the place, and suddenly, rage knocks on your door. Like, seriously? I thought sleepless nights and baby spit-up were the main attractions here! But no, the unexpected star of the show is rage, and it's pointing fingers at the one person who probably deserves it the least – your partner.
How do you manage when it literally feels like you're going to explode at any moment? I've been there. In the weeks after I had Nola (my first), any little thing Shep did would set me off. Forget to bring me a pacifier when I asked? Red fury. Didn't change the baby's diaper the way I liked? Blood bath. Poor Shep couldn't do anything right for weeks. Eventually, the anger subsided and he and I were able to establish a routine that worked for us.
This is what worked for us.
1. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: Unleashing the Fury… with Words
When rage came knocking, I thought, "Well, this is inconvenient." But I did the bravest thing – I opened my mouth and spoke. Communicating the irrational rage, without turning it into a blame game, was like doing stand-up comedy in the dark – terrifying, but also oddly liberating. Turns out, Shep appreciated the transparency, and it was the first step in turning rage into a punchline we could both laugh at.
2. Seek Professional Guidance
I decided to bring in the professionals my therapist. She and I have been together since before I got married and she knows me pretty well. When I sensed that my emotions were getting the better of me, I scheduled a few sessions where she was able to give me coping mechanisms and perspective.
3. Prioritize Self-Care: Because You Can't Pour from an Empty Coffee Cup
During baby chaos, I realized self-care wasn't a luxury; it was a necessity. I've written about the importance of self-care. Admittedly it can be hard to even think about caring for yourself when a screaming baby needs you nearly constantly and you're likely still in diapers yourself. That doesn't mean you aren't worth the effort. A truth I've discovered is, if I don't work, neither does my family. Prioritizing me trickles down positively into everything else.
4. Establish Boundaries and Expectations: Setting Rules for the Parenting Game
Parenthood is like a board game with no instructions. So, we decided to write our own. Clear boundaries and expectations helped us avoid stepping on each other's game pieces. We even threw in a few cheat codes for good measure.
5. Embrace Imperfection: Because Life's Too Short to Iron Onesies
In the world of parenting, perfection is a myth, like a unicorn that knows how to change a diaper. We embraced the chaos, laughed at the mismatched socks and the diaper blowouts, and decided that surviving the day was a victory worthy of a gold medal – or a strong drink.
Final Thoughts: Finding Peace Amidst the Storm
To all the moms out there juggling newborns, emotions, and the occasional urge to yell at your partner for breathing too loud, know you're not alone. Postpartum rage is like an uninvited guest at the sleep-deprived party, but with a bit of humor, a dash of communication, and a sprinkle of self-love, you can tame the beast and turn it into a sidekick in this wild parenting adventure.
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